© Cheddarhead Fantasy Football League 2024
Pronouncing Polynesian Names
In what has become my old man “get off my grass” moment, I have noticed that I get constantly fed up with the
incorrect pronunciation of the numerous Polynesian players in professional and college football. This has
become so upsetting that I am taking this opportunity to try and teach these talking heads the proper
pronunciation of these names.
Now, normally, I wouldn’t waste my time with this but, pronouncing Polynesian names is easier than
pronouncing words in standard english. IT ISN’T HARD. Here is what you need to know.
1. In the Polynesian languages, all 5 vowels are used; A,E,I,O,U.
2. In the Polynesian languages, EACH VOWEL IS PRONOUNCED ONLY 1 WAY. That way is as
follows: A - ah, E - ay, I - ee, O - oh, U - oo. NO OTHER WAY. THAT IS THE ONLY WAY EACH
VOWEL GET PRONOUNCED.
3. In the Polynesian languages, ALL vowels get pronounced within the word being said.
4. In the Polynesian languages, you DO NOT get to add extra letters that aren’t there or you
think SHOULD be there.
With these rules in mind, it is time to call out the talking heads that report on or do play by play of games that
include Polynesian players. You DO NOT get to add an N to Tua’s last name. You DO NOT get to add an N or
pronounce letters in Clemson’s back up QB’s name. Here is the correct way to say each players name:
Notice, there isn’t ONE SINGLE N in ANY of those names. QUIT PUTTING ONE IN THERE.
So there, I did the hard work for all of you sports casters, QUIT BEING LAZY and show a little pride in your job.
TUA TAGOVAILOA
(too-ah)
(tah-goh-vah-ee-loh-ah)
TAULIA TAGOVAILOA
(tahoo-lee-ah)
(tah-goh-vah-ee-loh-ah)
DJ UIAGALELEI
(dee-jay)
(oo-ee-ah-gah-lay-lay-ee)
MARCUS MARIOTA
(marcus)
(mah-ree-oh-tah)
CHRIS KEMOEATU
(chris)
(kay-moh-ay-ah-too)
TROY POLAMALU
(troy)
(poh-lah-mah-loo)
On Air Predictions
EPISODE 11.4 - Wayne predicts Braelon Allen will be the next Derrick Henry.
EPISODE 11.5 - Dave predicts Caleb Williams will be the next Marcus Mariota, Jameis Winston or Johnny
Manziel.
EPISODE 11.6 - Dave predicts Aaron Rodgers wins comeback player of the year for 2024.
Dave predicts Drake Maye will be the #1 rookie QB in 2024.
Wayne predicts Joe Milton will be no worse than the #3 QB in the 2024 draft class.
